the Happy Ending!!

1. The transitions towards the final stage of the performance turned out to be a very backward route towards the final footsteps in the process of Fractal, the weakness that I felt disheartened about was, at the start of the week a very doubting part to the final path leading to the performance, there was an outburst in the Saturdays session with people getting at each other and instinctively then felt that we all were in for a terribly bad bumpy ride. When the problem was resolved around the ritual there was then a sudden change into the atmosphere around this part to the performance it was then quicker, better and more synchronised than it had ever been. The best strength I have enjoyed in this is the way we have grown more as friends but as a team together, and through the toughest bit of the process we have managed to remain friends and have gelled well within our ‘TEAM FRACTAL’. I feel that at the start I was quite self reflected towards the process and found it quite hard within the first 10-11 weeks of the training process, then as if the coin dropped after our Christmas break I felt really then emotion involved and the quickly began to find the first instinctive meaning to my character. Then when we had to choose what groups we had to work within I was chuffed with the group I got put within with Alex and Joe and so feel within this team I really dug in and created a whole different character that was a little reflective towards me myself.


2. I feel that the growth of the performance part-took ion these three shows. I felt really nervous in the first showing and second performance then again I felt more nervous towards the last one, but also as if from nowhere I found energy in my body that I thought had disappeared from both a physical and emotion drain. I feel that my character and the growth of it has been very enjoyable for me and for other’s somehow I could come to the lessons feeling down or drained and found myself within an environment I wanted to become a bigger part of. I remember one morning on finding the growth of my character I was flexing in a self contained warm up finding myself rolled over backwards and the when Royona came in I felt an urge to stay like I was rolled over and turn over when I was ready this was the character I wanted to build on. In the performance a feel that I was pushed to explore a physical state of a male role as what could be perceived a homosexual, I found it hard at the start to focus on this soon changed as my emotion input become more efficient, I became reliable on both Joe, and Alex with pushing myself to do lifts and catches with Joe, but my favourite was my superman jump and in the second show when I did it the woman in the front row flinched. My role within fractal became efficient five or six weeks prior to the performance, my role was to be a male feature but explore roles within them through the use of others in the community. My part in my emotion exploration was I undertook something that as soon as I became focused found to be more intense every time, my relationship with Joe, and a question I world frequently ask myself is ‘how far will I go’? We pushed the male bonding role really well and from the input of Joe I found to see him more as the bigger brother role and I always wanted to be cheeky but get his attention more when he was neglected from Alex. My relationship with Alex was again a playful role for me but with Alex was more mischievous, he always showed to Joe that he was a little jealous of what me and Joe had but the when his attention was drawn to Rachel me and Joe could easily be persuade that he didn’t need Alex because he had me. I have enjoyed undergoing building the foundations to my character and I further more enjoyed building my character and so I have enjoyed the journey that I have come on.

3. Well September 2007 seems a pretty long off now and I feel that I have been on an adventure to a creative process in the community and world of fractal that I am so proud to be a part of. The blog has created a sideline to our work as our community and has intertwined within the process from the very start. Using the blog gave me the understanding and the knowledge that I needed to create my character and so from this is where the foundations and morals for my character were interpreted. I feel that the blog is the script of our journey that we couldn’t speak a part of in our performance. The community has evolved now within three shows and it is going to be greatly missed by all. Thank you all for a lovely journey but it is now time to leave the adventure and return to the natural surroundings within us. However this is not GOODBYE!

A big Thank you from me to PAul and Royona!!